Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Berlin controlled by aliens!

Someone take away John Nada's bubblegum!


It's still the new year... sorta

Is it too late for a New Year Resolution Meme? Piper from Lazy Eye Theatre tagged me almost 2 weeks ago. I'm not big on resolutions in general. I've discovered that I can't even walk into a bar and say "I'm just staying for one drink", because during the course of a certain film festival I said that every night I walked into the bar after a screening, and it turned out never to be true. By the third night a common response was "Yeah sure rummy, just have a seat, you want the usual I assume?"

I've said too much.

So... here are the rules:

1. Post a list of nine movie-related resolutions for the new year. These can be as serious or light-hearted as you want them to be, and it also gives you a topic at the end of the year to post about when you take a look back at the resolutions.

2. Tag five other people with completing this meme.

3. Link back to my blog in your post so I can keep track of how many cool people are going along with this, and also for the purpose of compiling a list of the most interesting resolutions.

OK, here I go:

1. Blog this blog more. Hurm... that one's easy enough.

2. Attend more screenings at my local Cinematheque. Normally a little high-brow for my tastes, but it's time I branched out, such as when I went to see CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA last week. Not that it played the Cinematheque, but I never thought I'd go see a Bollywood movie either.

3. Watch TITANIC. I've screamed up and down for years that I absolutely do not need to watch this bloated crowd-pleaser, but I'm getting rid of my absolutes this year, and can at least bask in it's Kate Winslet-ness.

4. Host more movie nights. A few friends, a DVD, a theme drink. First up: ROADHOUSE!

5. Finish my screenplay. It's like Fast Food Nation with zombies and a kung-fu priest. Obvious yes, but it's purely an exercise.

6. Sneak more food into movie theatres. I'm tired of bending over at the counter and spending an absurd amount of money for sugar water and a Kit Kat. Sure, I've already brought my own pop, candy, and wine in, but next I'm thinking a sandwich!

7. Make out session! Ok, maybe not a full on sloppy neckin' fest, but a little kissin' in the back row when you're not missing anything on screen (you hear me Max Payne?) is in order.

8. Give INLAND EMPIRE another chance. Maybe I was really tired that day, maybe not, but I'm a big fan of Lynch so this requires another attempt.

9. See more movies in the cinema. Sure, I'm out there fairly often, but films keep slipping by me, most notably of late RACHAEL GETTING MARRIED and THE WRESTLER.

As far as the tagging bit goes, I'm thinking I'm a little late in the game, but I'm tagging my buddy Jay Clarke @ THE HORROR SECTION just for kicks!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

On board with Zooey

So I had this dream where I was on the bus with Zooey Deschanel...

Not really... but I sure wish I did. The pic above, taken from the teaser trailer of (500)DAYS OF SUMMER, looks an awful lot like the bus that drives you to heaven! Yes dear readers, this robot is totally smitten. How could I not be? Granted, she's been getting a lot more press lately as the indie boys' movie-star crush of choice, thanks to roles in WINTER PASSING, ALL THE REAL GIRLS, and THE GOOD GIRL. Not to mention a small roll on the tv show WEEDS, and a couple of big (although awful) films in 2008 that I won't even mention. AND her breakout as a dreamy-voiced chanteuse in the band She & Him.

One might be accused of jumping on the Zooey bandwagon, but my moony-eyed optical circuits have been gazing at her since her small role as Patrick Fugit's sister in ALMOST FAMOUS, one of my favouritest movies ever.

"Listen to Tommy with a candle burning, and you'll see your entire future."

So I was greatly intrigued when I first heard about (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, billed as 'Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't.', an anti-romantic comedy starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Count me in! On top of the obvious Zooey factor, I'm a big fan of Gordon-Levitt after watching him in MYSTERIOUS SKIN, BRICK, and THE LOOKOUT. Word out of Sundance is very positive, so I'm keen to see this when it's released in July.

Also, I just wanted an excuse to post more pics of her :P

Monday, January 19, 2009

The End Is Nigh...

Now that the litigation is over...

UPDATE: Now with even more virals!

Friday, January 16, 2009

One ticket to the planet Spectra please!

When did the evil Zoltar get so freakin' hot???

Actually, these are the first pics of the villianess Doronjo (Kyoko Fukuda) from Takashi Miike's live-action adaptation of the 1970s anime series YATTERMAN, which I know nothing about but suddenly find myself very interested in! Check out The Toronto J-Film Pow-Wow, they know about such things.

"I've seen bits of it..."

from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


My review screams.

For all the people who thought this was gonna be SIN CITY 2. For all the people who cheered when Robert Rodriguez gave up his membership in the Directors Guild of America when it told him he couldn't share the credit with Frank Miller on SIN CITY. For all the people who drooled over the prospect of a bevy of powerful and beautiful women kicking asses and takin' names.

My review screams.

It was with a stunned silence at the preview screening that I watched the end credits of this film roll past. Now I've never read any of the original Will Eisner comics, so I wasn't judging it based on the source material. I really dug SIN CITY, as a film and a graphic novel, I got a kick out of the bloody and fascist spectacle that was 300, and I'm a big fan of some of Miller's comic book work, including two of my favourite Batman stories (THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS and BATMAN: YEAR ONE). So let's just say that I was cautiously optimistic about Miller's first solo attempt at directing a film.

But then there was the footage leaked from the San Diego Comic Con’s panel in July... this does not look good. In fact, it looks like a joke, a bad joke. A slapstick brawl between The Spirit (Gabriel Macht) and his arch-nemesis The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) in the mud, including a shot to the groin and the use of an actual toilet as a blunt instrument.

*blank stare*

This is the scene they chose to show on a panel at one of the largest geek* conventions of the year. This was the calling card to their hard-core demographic.

*I can say geek because they are my people.

Months go by and I keep wondering, could it really be as bad as it looks? Contrary to what you might think, I don't walk into any theatre hoping to watch something bad enough to trash up and down the interwebs. I hope for greatness, I hope for at least some lovely moment or idea or line of dialogue to ponder and cherish. I WANT TO BELIEVE. I say this so you understand my full meaning. I'm not jumping on the bandwagon on harsh criticism. (15% on Rotten Tomatoes) And I'm not punishing Miller for All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.

THE SPIRIT is an utter train-wreck of a film.

It is the story of a former rookie cop who returns mysteriously from the dead as The Spirit to fight crime from the shadows of Central City. His arch-nemesis is The Octopus, who is chasing down an artifact that will grant him true immortality. Then there are the shiny distractions of the beautiful and murderous women who do very little but pant over The Spirit (who's apparently something of a man-whore) and get plenty of costume changes, but not as many as The Octopus, who has seemingly raided a Halloween costume shop and perfected the use of sad goth eye make-up.

I'll work again, no one knows who the hell I am!

The film looks like unfinished footage from Sin City, existing in a vaguely 1940's film noir world, except for the occasional cell phone and digital camera. The dialogue is the same clunky Sin City speak that never finds a groove, or an actor who can rise above it. It's therefore hard to fault their performances with so little to work with, except for Samuel L. Jackson, who was apparently given no direction and ran with every idea for costumes or volume of delivery he could dream up. Miller needed to tell him no, at least once, but never did. Jackson chews up the scenery with great glee and somehow manages to become tedious about half way through this flick.

The cat-eye glasses I don't look through are UP HERE!

Worst of all is the overall tone of the film. Billed as a "classic action-adventure-romance" it comes across for the most part as a goofy 'comedy' that I intentionally chuckled with 2 or 3 times. Most of the time I was rolling my eyes and wondering how much longer it would go on. There are a few moments of spectacle that should be seen, such as Jackson and Johansson dressed as Nazis, or the brief glimpse of Eva Mendes' bum, but otherwise I would avoid this like the plague. It's only going to give Miller the idea that he should direct another movie, and that is not something the world needs.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Is it just me, or does DEAD SNOW look like the greatest zombie-Nazi-horror-comedy ever? You bet it does! Check out Twitch for clips and coverage. It's screening on Friday January 23/11:59 PM @ the Egyptian Theater in Park City, in case you wanna pop down to Sundance next week.

Blade Runner... anime?

Courtesy of Mark Brooks.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Where are they now?

The so-called 'Golden Age of Hollywood' certainly knew how to build a theatre. Check out these pics and sketches by architect S. Charles Lee here. Below are a few of the theatres he designed in Los Angeles County during the 30's and 40's.

Space is in trouble! Now’s your chance!

Far, far away, beyond the galaxy
The flames of justice light the night sky
To protect the peace in space, you’ve got to defeat Darth Vader
Laser beams, spitting red fire
Swing your lightsaber
Space is in trouble! Now’s your chance!

Monday, January 12, 2009


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

"Jason Statham drop-kicks the Pope..."

Comedian Patton Oswalt is "GAY-THAM FOR STATHAM", and has some interesting suggestions on how this year's crop of Oscar bait films might be better served if they starred THE STATH.

GRAN TORINO: Jason Statham glowers at Clint Eastwood, who glowers back, creating a Glower Vortex which destroys the planet.

Check out the rest here!

[REC]'ed again!


This is supposedly a teeny tiny teaser for [REC]2, but I call shenanigans! Though my Spanish is rudimentary at best, I'm fairly sure that AULLIDOS.COM has debunked it, and surely FILMAX would have placed it on their own YouTube channel, rather than letting it float around the interweb randomly.

Oh well. Apparently shooting has recently wrapped, and we'll soon get our first glimpse into the sequel. Let's see if Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza can deliver the goods a second time.