The End Is Nigh...

Now that the litigation is over...

UPDATE: Now with even more virals!

One ticket to the planet Spectra please!

When did the evil Zoltar get so freakin' hot???

Actually, these are the first pics of the villianess Doronjo (Kyoko Fukuda) from Takashi Miike's live-action adaptation of the 1970s anime series YATTERMAN, which I know nothing about but suddenly find myself very interested in! Check out The Toronto J-Film Pow-Wow, they know about such things.

"I've seen bits of it..."

from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

THE SPIRIT review

My review screams.

For all the people who thought this was gonna be SIN CITY 2. For all the people who cheered when Robert Rodriguez gave up his membership in the Directors Guild of America when it told him he couldn't share the credit with Frank Miller on SIN CITY. For all the people who drooled over the prospect of a bevy of powerful and beautiful women kicking asses and takin' names.

My review screams.

It was with a stunned silence at the preview screening that I watched the end credits of this film roll past. Now I've never read any of the original Will Eisner comics, so I wasn't judging it based on the source material. I really dug SIN CITY, as a film and a graphic novel, I got a kick out of the bloody and fascist spectacle that was 300, and I'm a big fan of some of Miller's comic book work, including two of my favourite Batman stories (THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS and BATMAN: YEAR ONE). So let's just say that I was cautiously optimistic about Miller's first solo attempt at directing a film.

But then there was the footage leaked from the San Diego Comic Con’s panel in July... this does not look good. In fact, it looks like a joke, a bad joke. A slapstick brawl between The Spirit (Gabriel Macht) and his arch-nemesis The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) in the mud, including a shot to the groin and the use of an actual toilet as a blunt instrument.

*blank stare*

This is the scene they chose to show on a panel at one of the largest geek* conventions of the year. This was the calling card to their hard-core demographic.

*I can say geek because they are my people.

Months go by and I keep wondering, could it really be as bad as it looks? Contrary to what you might think, I don't walk into any theatre hoping to watch something bad enough to trash up and down the interwebs. I hope for greatness, I hope for at least some lovely moment or idea or line of dialogue to ponder and cherish. I WANT TO BELIEVE. I say this so you understand my full meaning. I'm not jumping on the bandwagon on harsh criticism. (15% on Rotten Tomatoes) And I'm not punishing Miller for All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.


THE SPIRIT is an utter train-wreck of a film.

It is the story of a former rookie cop who returns mysteriously from the dead as The Spirit to fight crime from the shadows of Central City. His arch-nemesis is The Octopus, who is chasing down an artifact that will grant him true immortality. Then there are the shiny distractions of the beautiful and murderous women who do very little but pant over The Spirit (who's apparently something of a man-whore) and get plenty of costume changes, but not as many as The Octopus, who has seemingly raided a Halloween costume shop and perfected the use of sad goth eye make-up.

I'll work again, no one knows who the hell I am!

The film looks like unfinished footage from Sin City, existing in a vaguely 1940's film noir world, except for the occasional cell phone and digital camera. The dialogue is the same clunky Sin City speak that never finds a groove, or an actor who can rise above it. It's therefore hard to fault their performances with so little to work with, except for Samuel L. Jackson, who was apparently given no direction and ran with every idea for costumes or volume of delivery he could dream up. Miller needed to tell him no, at least once, but never did. Jackson chews up the scenery with great glee and somehow manages to become tedious about half way through this flick.

The cat-eye glasses I don't look through are UP HERE!

Worst of all is the overall tone of the film. Billed as a "classic action-adventure-romance" it comes across for the most part as a goofy 'comedy' that I intentionally chuckled with 2 or 3 times. Most of the time I was rolling my eyes and wondering how much longer it would go on. There are a few moments of spectacle that should be seen, such as Jackson and Johansson dressed as Nazis, or the brief glimpse of Eva Mendes' bum, but otherwise I would avoid this like the plague. It's only going to give Miller the idea that he should direct another movie, and that is not something the world needs.

Tötungzombies!

Is it just me, or does DEAD SNOW look like the greatest zombie-Nazi-horror-comedy ever? You bet it does! Check out Twitch for clips and coverage. It's screening on Friday January 23/11:59 PM @ the Egyptian Theater in Park City, in case you wanna pop down to Sundance next week.

Blade Runner... anime?

Courtesy of Mark Brooks.

Where are they now?

The so-called 'Golden Age of Hollywood' certainly knew how to build a theatre. Check out these pics and sketches by architect S. Charles Lee here. Below are a few of the theatres he designed in Los Angeles County during the 30's and 40's.

Space is in trouble! Now’s your chance!

Far, far away, beyond the galaxy
The flames of justice light the night sky
To protect the peace in space, you’ve got to defeat Darth Vader
Laser beams, spitting red fire
Swing your lightsaber
Space is in trouble! Now’s your chance!

PALANCE!

"Jason Statham drop-kicks the Pope..."

Comedian Patton Oswalt is "GAY-THAM FOR STATHAM", and has some interesting suggestions on how this year's crop of Oscar bait films might be better served if they starred THE STATH.

GRAN TORINO: Jason Statham glowers at Clint Eastwood, who glowers back, creating a Glower Vortex which destroys the planet.

Check out the rest here!

[REC]'ed again!

This is supposedly a teeny tiny teaser for [REC]2, but I call shenanigans! Though my Spanish is rudimentary at best, I'm fairly sure that AULLIDOS.COM has debunked it, and surely FILMAX would have placed it on their own YouTube channel, rather than letting it float around the interweb randomly.

Oh well. Apparently shooting has recently wrapped, and we'll soon get our first glimpse into the sequel. Let's see if Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza can deliver the goods a second time.

Merry X-Mas silly humans!

Need to know what the weather is like in LA...?

Click on David Lynch to find out.

MAX PAYNE review

Yes, I will admit right off the bat that I actually paid money to see this film in the theatre, and NO, I didn't expect it to be good... exactly. I had been nursing a sick fascination with the film ever since finding out that Mila Kunis was playing an assassin and laughing my ass off (but on the inside) while watching the Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals skit on SNL.

Who's a cute little assassin?

Judging from the many posters, I was expecting a lot of Max Payne staring down at Hell (or maybe he keeps dropping his keys), and looking up to Heaven (but with his eyes closed). And if the trailer was any indication, it would be very dark, snowy, and slow-motion(y). I really liked the video game when it came out in 2001, one of the first to utilize the "bullet time" feature where you could leap into the air, slow down time, and spray your opponents with bullets. That was fun. This movie, on the other hand, was not fun. Not one bit. And what the heck is Olga Kurylenko doing in this film when she was just in another video game movie HITMAN?! Thankfully she's moved on up to a role in the OK but not great QUANTUM OF SOLACE, but too bad she's a traitor to her country. :/

Now that I'm on about other video game movies, has there ever been a good one? RESIDENT EVIL is a guilty pleasure of mine, I just love it when the lovely Milla Jovovich kicks that evil dog in the head! Then there's Christophe Gan's version of SILENT HILL, which looked fantastic and was pretty creepy, but the story, as it is in the game, is pretty confounding. Now that only leaves IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE, which was the best comedy I saw in 2007! Perhaps there's hope in the future, when Gore Verbinski takes a stab at BIOSHOCK in 2010.


What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so Marky Mark, American Psycho 2, Ludacris, and Robin walk into a movie... Groan! I'm already bored talking about this, it's pretty dreadful on every level, and just listen to Payne's opening voice-over:

I don't believe in Heaven. I believe in Pain. I believe in Fear. I believe in Death.

I believe I regret paying money to watch this damn film!

From WTF?! to Meh? to AwesomeSauce!!

After a very long robot hiatus, this is the world I woke up to:

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are planning to collaborate on a remake of Park Chan-wook's OLDBOY, according to Variety.



Sammo Hung to star in WAR MONKEYS???



Will JJ Abrams make STAR TREK relevant again to more than just the Trekkies?



More WATCHMEN character posters and a new trailer!



Check out the work of Astron-6 Video International

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Toronto After Dark 2008 Complete Line-up!

We're only 22 days away from this year's Toronto After Dark Film Festival, and they have just announced the 2nd half of their features line-up. Be sure to check out the TAD site for more info, including the list of Canadian and international shorts that screen as well.

Home Movie

South Of Heaven

4bia

TIFF Day One: Notes from Underfoot

This is your insiders look at The Toronto International Film Festival from a lowly grunt in the organization, a view from the 'feet' of The TIFF.

Here's where I'm trapped during the day, very glamourous. And honestly, The TIFF picks no favourites! :/


In preparation for the long hours and poor nutrition of the next ten days, we're offered a free B12 shot, by a 'doctor' mind you, and yet for some reason I'm the only one who bled. I call butchery!


My first film was Ari Folman's animated documentary WALTZ WITH BASHIR.


5 word review: Must see, gorgeous, deeply affecting.


Next up was the opening night party, which I'm sure is supposed to be an important event, judging by the 'character' of party goer. Tying this shindig into the opening night film, the Canadian World War One 'epic' PASSCHENDAELE, seemed like an odd decision. There were tanks stationed at the front door and men in military uniforms wandered around the party among the young, overly-modified party girls. For some reason it reminded me of R&R in Saigon in '69.

Now the smart move would have been to go directly home after the FF&D, but instead a bunch of us ended up at the uber-trendy Drake Hotel. Many drinks and embarrassing dance moves later, I got to bed at 4:30am... For The Love Of Film!