Merry X-Mas silly humans!

Need to know what the weather is like in LA...?

Click on David Lynch to find out.

MAX PAYNE review

Yes, I will admit right off the bat that I actually paid money to see this film in the theatre, and NO, I didn't expect it to be good... exactly. I had been nursing a sick fascination with the film ever since finding out that Mila Kunis was playing an assassin and laughing my ass off (but on the inside) while watching the Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals skit on SNL.

Who's a cute little assassin?

Judging from the many posters, I was expecting a lot of Max Payne staring down at Hell (or maybe he keeps dropping his keys), and looking up to Heaven (but with his eyes closed). And if the trailer was any indication, it would be very dark, snowy, and slow-motion(y). I really liked the video game when it came out in 2001, one of the first to utilize the "bullet time" feature where you could leap into the air, slow down time, and spray your opponents with bullets. That was fun. This movie, on the other hand, was not fun. Not one bit. And what the heck is Olga Kurylenko doing in this film when she was just in another video game movie HITMAN?! Thankfully she's moved on up to a role in the OK but not great QUANTUM OF SOLACE, but too bad she's a traitor to her country. :/

Now that I'm on about other video game movies, has there ever been a good one? RESIDENT EVIL is a guilty pleasure of mine, I just love it when the lovely Milla Jovovich kicks that evil dog in the head! Then there's Christophe Gan's version of SILENT HILL, which looked fantastic and was pretty creepy, but the story, as it is in the game, is pretty confounding. Now that only leaves IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE, which was the best comedy I saw in 2007! Perhaps there's hope in the future, when Gore Verbinski takes a stab at BIOSHOCK in 2010.


What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so Marky Mark, American Psycho 2, Ludacris, and Robin walk into a movie... Groan! I'm already bored talking about this, it's pretty dreadful on every level, and just listen to Payne's opening voice-over:

I don't believe in Heaven. I believe in Pain. I believe in Fear. I believe in Death.

I believe I regret paying money to watch this damn film!

From WTF?! to Meh? to AwesomeSauce!!

After a very long robot hiatus, this is the world I woke up to:

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are planning to collaborate on a remake of Park Chan-wook's OLDBOY, according to Variety.



Sammo Hung to star in WAR MONKEYS???



Will JJ Abrams make STAR TREK relevant again to more than just the Trekkies?



More WATCHMEN character posters and a new trailer!



Check out the work of Astron-6 Video International

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Toronto After Dark 2008 Complete Line-up!

We're only 22 days away from this year's Toronto After Dark Film Festival, and they have just announced the 2nd half of their features line-up. Be sure to check out the TAD site for more info, including the list of Canadian and international shorts that screen as well.

Home Movie

South Of Heaven

4bia

TIFF Day One: Notes from Underfoot

This is your insiders look at The Toronto International Film Festival from a lowly grunt in the organization, a view from the 'feet' of The TIFF.

Here's where I'm trapped during the day, very glamourous. And honestly, The TIFF picks no favourites! :/


In preparation for the long hours and poor nutrition of the next ten days, we're offered a free B12 shot, by a 'doctor' mind you, and yet for some reason I'm the only one who bled. I call butchery!


My first film was Ari Folman's animated documentary WALTZ WITH BASHIR.


5 word review: Must see, gorgeous, deeply affecting.


Next up was the opening night party, which I'm sure is supposed to be an important event, judging by the 'character' of party goer. Tying this shindig into the opening night film, the Canadian World War One 'epic' PASSCHENDAELE, seemed like an odd decision. There were tanks stationed at the front door and men in military uniforms wandered around the party among the young, overly-modified party girls. For some reason it reminded me of R&R in Saigon in '69.

Now the smart move would have been to go directly home after the FF&D, but instead a bunch of us ended up at the uber-trendy Drake Hotel. Many drinks and embarrassing dance moves later, I got to bed at 4:30am... For The Love Of Film!

First look at Toronto After Dark 2008!

Thanks to an awful head cold/allergy attack this weekend, I mostly sleep-walked through this year's Fan Expo, but I did pick up on Toronto After Dark's sneak peak at their first 8 films.

Marry me?

Pinched from FRANKENSTEINIA, the blog that covers all things Frankenstein, is this saucy Bride of Frankenstein! Click the pic to find more on the photographer's blog.

There's clay everywhere!

Not many posts recently, as I'm in the swamp of film festival madness. In the meantime, check out CHAINSAW MAID!

Who Watches The Pin-Ups?

Here's a link to some hi-res versions of the Watchmen character posters that were seen at Comic Con, courtesy of /film. And below is the Vargas-esque portrait of Sally Jupiter, played by Carla Gugino that was created by artist James Jean, it can be glimpsed oh so briefly in the trailer at the 1:32 mark.

G.I. JOE vs. The Thing?

Check out this fantastic stop-motion tribute to John Carpenter's THE THING on what I assume is the filmmakers MySpace or on YouTube. Described as such:

First non-official video clip made for Zombie Zombie, the electrifying French duo of Etienne Jaumet and Cosmic Neman. Directed by Simon Gesrel and Xavier Ehretsmann thanks to their favourite toys... the GI Joes ! The video is an hommage to the director AND soundtrack composer John Carpenter, especially one of his masterpieces : THE THING.

BTW, there's a rumour going around that 30 DAYS OF NIGHT creator Steve Niles is adapting a script for John Carpenter to direct. A good match, no?

The Brothers Bloom

Here's the trailer for THE BROTHERS BLOOM, from some of the people who brought you BRICK, a great little neo-noir flick that a lot of people took notice of in 2005.

"Refrain from excessive use of tendrils in public restaurants."

Go figure this out for yourself, I have no time for virals today!

Wolverine threatens decapitation!

So, the San Diego Comic Con just ended, leaving in it's wake a legion of fanboys still recovering from too much Red Bull and too many 'awkward in the pants' moments due to girls in skimpy costumes and the debut of the X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE movie trailer.

Click here... while it lasts!

First off, hold the frakin' camera still when you're unlawfully recording copywritten material!*

Secondly, must every comic book movie have our hero casually walking away from an explosion? Just wondering.

*Boys & girls, piracy hurts us all, don't let the terrorists win!

TIFF's Madness is announced!

It's that happy time of the year for all robots in the vicinity of Toronto this fall, as the Toronto International Film Festival's MIDNIGHT MADNESS programme has been announced. What stands out at first glance, especially compared to last year's films, is the absence of well known filmmakers. No Romero, no Argento, not even Miike this year! Call me crazy, but I couldn't be happier, as I thought last year's MOTHER OF TEARS and DIARY OF THE DEAD were really weak. I'd much rather witness an emerging talent than be tied down to the death rattles of previous genre masters.

Click the pics below for more info, or go here for the official press release.